Let’s say your son has trouble sharing toys with his little sister and comes out swinging. Or your daughter refuses to clean her room or finish her homework. Most parents know how to dole out punishments, but how do they turn those situations into teachable moments? It involves deciding beforehand what moral, social and personal skills their children will need to lead successful lives, and focusing their efforts there rather than on just making the kids behave.
In The Parent’s Complete Guide, Sherry Rhodes covers the subtle but powerful difference between reactive and proactive parenting. It’s an attitude shift that reframes the inevitable problems as opportunities for lessons about the rules of polite society and the tools they will need to fit in. Through concise, relatable chapters brimming with examples, she explains the methods she learned while raising three sons as a military wife and as a middle and high school teacher.
Suppose your son scribbles on the wall. Simple punishment won’t teach him why it’s not okay or motivate him to change. Instead, she suggests saying, “Walls are not for coloring on, and now you need to clean that up. Next time, please ask for some paper.” Other solutions sound simple—set the rules, explain them, enforce them with logical consequences and teach better choices—but identifying parents’ expectations and getting both spouses onboard can be tricky. She suggests ways to do that, too.
The book’s well-defined lesson plan drills deep into the intangibles that underlie successful human interaction, good manners, likability, character, work ethic and a well-developed moral compass among them. Rhodes also shares concrete study aids that teachers use: the Cornell system for note taking, for example, and grids that track assignments and progress.
Acknowledging Jesus as her “Holy Ghost writer,” Rhodes makes no secret about the strong Christian faith that backstops her content but translates it into a kind, loving approach that all parents and grandparents can benefit from.
