Author Trevor C. Murray shares his disappointment over a broken marriage engagement in this slim volume. Murray notes that the book is about his troubles “meeting women,” but he reflects on that relationship throughout the book, and perhaps even in the title.
Murray, who works in aerospace in California, hopes that others can learn from his missteps. Among his lessons: Don’t jump into a romantic relationship before becoming friends. (He met his former fiancée through an online dating site; in three months they were living together and engaged after nine months.) Another lesson: Discuss your strategy about money. (When they were shopping for furniture, they found that they not only had opposite tastes; more significantly, they had different attitudes about debt.)
Murray offers some vague rules for future relationships, taking guidance from inspirational and self-help authors, including Deepak Chopra, Robert Huizenga and Steve Chandler. He often refers to romantic comedy movies from the early 2000s (Hitch, Oldschool, etc.), making the work feel a bit dated. Among his rules for himself (and others): Don’t rush the “L- word” (love). Be consistent; be predictable. And regarding communication: truth can be conveyed in loving ways (wise advice, although he offers no examples of how to do it). He also tape records his impressions after a first date to gain objectivity.
Murray’s ideas are couched in unpolished writing and imprecise language, which makes his text less engaging than it could have been; readers are likely to lose interest before book’s end. It’s unfortunate that his writing is not more colorful or expansive, because he’s buried some ideas that might be helpful to young people; regrettably, the reader has to dig too hard for those nuggets.
Readers can’t help but root for Murray to find the partner he so sincerely wants. But however candid and well intentioned, the advice he offers here is too thin to be memorable.
Also available in hardcover and ebook.