The Turkey Is Not The Only Thing Getting Roasted: A State-by-State Roast of Thanksgiving Chaos Across America

Robert Okine

Publisher: Fifty Options Press Pages: Price: ISBN: 9798998651243 Reviewed: October, 2025 Author Website: Visit »

In this humorous, state-by-state roundup of Thanksgiving traditions, author Robert Okine exhorts readers to “be honest.” Thanksgiving, he writes, is not just about gratitude. It’s also “about gravy, grudges, group texts gone wrong, and someone yelling ‘We’re eating at 3’ when you know full well it’s 6:17 p.m.”

From Alabama to Wyoming (D.C is also represented), Okine delivers vignettes of fictional Thanksgiving gatherings to illustrate different states’ lifestyles, food preferences, geographic challenges and social dynamics. For instance, in Alaska, he writes, Thanksgiving isn’t just a holiday, “It’s a logistical mission.” His fictional family preps with “a backup generator, a snowmobile delivery from Costco,” and “three turkeys (just in case).” In Colorado, his rendition of the holiday meal includes high altitude issues and alternative lifestyles that require raw food and breathwork. In Hawaii, Uncle Kalani insists on “traditional imu-style turkey buried underground with banana leaves, hot rocks and four hours of ancestral expectations.”

It’s all rendered tongue-in-cheek, and Okine has a knack for zeroing in on local traits that brand Americans. Unless readers are hiding out in the backwoods or have lost touch with their relatives, they will recognize an uncle or a cousin or two in the author’s gallery of Thanksgiving Day suspects.

Some readers, however, might take offense at Okine’s broad brushstrokes that ladle on stereotypes as heavily as some slop gravy on mashed potatoes. While post-election results suggest U.S. demographics are a quickly changing target, you wouldn’t know it here. Still, it’s all in good fun and inclusive, too: readers will relish the fact that all Americans, no matter their sexual orientation, religion or political affiliation, are fodder for Okine’s roastings.

Sometimes you just need a few laughs. Beleaguered readers will find plenty in this light-hearted homage to America’s cherished holiday.

Author's Current Residence
Washington, D.C.