In this clear-eyed memoir, William Ledbetter remembers the selfless spirit of his older sister Nancy, who entered hospice after doctors diagnosed her with a terminal illness.
Growing up in New Jersey, Ledbetter and Nancy knew their designated roles—until high school, when their father left the family for his secretary. Teenage Ledbetter learned a formative lesson: “Watching Mom improvise survival taught me something I didn’t name until hospice: When you can’t stop the damage, you manage it.”
Ledbetter powered through college and built an accounting career. Nancy became a teacher, but when her marriage ended in 1998, her finances were in ruins. Ledbetter stepped up without ceremony: He let Nancy and her daughter move in with his family, carried the mortgage for Nancy’s new house, and provided other financial assistance. When Nancy’s years-long battle with cancer went into remission, Ledbetter felt relief; however, this was short-lived: Nancy’s cancer spread to her brain. Instead of opting for more treatment, she decided to receive hospice care. The doctor gave her six weeks to live.
Ledbetter writes with nuanced reflection and insightful lucidity; he respectfully captures Nancy’s quiet dignity through her commitment to her Lutheran faith and ability to see the goodness in people. He explains how he relied on his work ethic to mitigate his grief while elevating the joy, care, humor, and loyalty threaded throughout their relationship.
The memoir underscores that the past shapes the present and informs the future. To illustrate this in his family, Ledbetter devotes considerable space to his parents and grandparents. While this helps establish family dynamics, it pushes Nancy’s story to the sidelines, stealing room for valuable insights about her inner journey from adolescence to adulthood and who she was outside of her role as a sister.
Nonetheless, this is a moving tribute to a sister who faced adversities with gratitude and humility and a reminder that love can be a refuge when the world threatens to break us.
Also available in hardcover.