Joshua Tabin takes a fresh look at gender roles, marriage and independence in this funny and thought-provoking commentary on men, women and relationships.

Despite its title, Tabin is clear that his book is not “about how women should be barefoot in kitchens…a manifesto for turning back the clock to 1954.” It “isn’t religious… [or] political.” He claims it’s a book about “what works” for relationships and argues that men and women (and their children) are better off together.

Tabin interlaces his evidence-based arguments with common sense and a deliciously sarcastic humor to deliver a refreshing perspective. He takes readers back to the earliest human interactions to show how males and females “figured out how to cooperate…because life was brutally hard, resources were scarce, and survival favored teams over individuals.” He moves on to discuss what has happened to women and men over time, and how, on the whole, we have ended up lonely, confused, and more angry with one another than ever before.

Tabin fearlessly tackles a wide range of ideas like feminism, toxic masculinity, gender roles, the independence cult, self-actualization, and more. He writes with a charming conviction, unashamedly stepping on toes but managing to keep even skeptical readers engaged.

Each chapter ends with a list of references. However, some sweeping statements lack citations, seemingly relying on his own reasoning and assumptions, such as: “We developed the capacity for love because cooperation was so essential that evolution built in a neurological reward system to encourage it.”

Still, although Tabin is not a psychologist, relationship therapist or other behavioral professional, his common sense explanations of the negative ways men and women’s interactions have shifted—and how to fix this —make this an intriguing read for anyone considering marriage or even remaining single for life. As Tabin writes, “The argument of this book is not that everyone must live the same life” but knowing the “hidden costs” to our decisions helps us navigate our relationships with wisdom.

Also available in hardcover and ebook.