Communications expert Sandy Gerber takes the frustration and guesswork out of relationship problems in this brilliant self-help guide to connecting with others.
Gerber, an award-winning author and TEDx speaker, spent eight years perfecting this book, and her hard work shows. Clear and concise, intriguing and fun, the author shares an invaluable toolbox of communication cues and clues to help readers decipher which of the four emotional needs or “magnets” are predominant in themselves and others. As she explains, “you can motivate just about anyone to take action if you appeal to their emotional needs.”
The four key emotional needs are: “Safety” (liking the status quo, being prepared, etc.); “Achievement” (driven to accomplish things); “Value” (thrifty, considers the worth of things) and “Experience” (cherishes experiences, is impulsive and spontaneous). Gerber notes that a mother trying to get her kids to help with chores will motivate her Achievement child with praise and recognition, while her Experience child will appreciate the promise of a fun outing after the chores are complete.
She explains how each magnet plays out in real-life through ample stories pulled from her own experiences and those of colleagues, friends and famous influencers such as Samuel Moore Walton, founder of Walmart. She then rounds out her offering with a full list of resources and a copy of the emotional magnet quiz.
The author employs a lighthearted tone that’s more life coach than professor. While parents might be slightly disappointed to learn there isn’t a quiz designed for younger children, Gerber trains readers so thoroughly that they may be able to discover their children’s magnets on their own.
In all, the author offers hope to all struggling relationships, from disconnected marriage partners to tense boardroom hecklers to testy children. As she notes: “[W]hen you know how to communicate with someone to satisfy their emotional needs, magic happens.”
Also available in ebook and audio book.